macdonald09 writes

My girlfriend left me for no good reason, she did not take even one minute to tell me what i did wrong, then she calls me for a movie, we sat in the movie theare like strangers then after the movie she gave me a kiss on the chick and took off, it took me months to let go, i still call her, i dont know why, every time i call her she reminds me i should move on, it hurts me so much that she can do this to me, after we had the best relationship ever, i still question what i did to her, i cant understand. Thanks to pink sofa and all the anonymous writers after reading what other girls have gone through i think i let go now and am happy to move on, and have a new gilfriend.

Cameron09 writes

There is no good way. No way that isn't going to hurt like hell for both of you. The "best" experience I had (if you can have a best experience when being dumped)was with my first ever woman. She told me she felt differently about me and that she wasn't happy and hadn't been so for some time. Then she gave me time to rant and rave, weep and wail and yes even beg. We're talking weeks here not days. Throughout she stayed calm and patient. What finally made me see sense was when she said I wouldn't want her to stay with me out of pity would I? I took myself off to relate and spent an hour talking to a counseller. Then I went home and told her she was free. It was liberating for both of us.

kelbabypog1980 writes

wimsicalmelissa I have to say i understand i have just come out of a relationship thats sounds the same (i was with my ex 5 years) please get in touch my email is kellyleigh100@hotmail.co.uk x

Popsparks writes

It's been almost 3 months, since the last time my ex called me. The best 3 months since our break up! I don't believe its how positive, or negative you are, because as a pessimistic, realistic believer, I think it depends on how honest, and how well you communicate with your girlfriend. Also it relies on if you can, or cannot fulfill the needs of your partner, and sometimes you just can't. Although I am not saying that negativity is the way to go, you have to accept a compliment, and have trust with your partner. I ended the relationship, by saying that I don't have the time, or energy to keep up with her lifestyle and to meet someone who is more compatible. I was in college, and couldn't come to grips, in being with someone so rebellious, and very spontaneous. Actually that's an underestimate. To end a relationship text, email, talk on the phone, etc... Do almost anything, directly to communicate to end the relationship before it gets worse, especially if your close friends agree with the status of your relationship; although only YOU can decide your fate.

goldie7 writes

i have been in a relationship for 3 years, with someone who is perpetually unhappy unless i am under her control.There's no winning in this type of relationship, you are set up for failure. The answer im learning is to surround yourself with positive friends, stay strong and true to who you are and what you need.Be steadfast in obtaining your self respect....and never ever be fooled.A person like this will promise you the world in give you nothing! BE STRONG.

Sky45 writes

By txt ???? thats how she did it to me

cathyann writes

anonymous writes

Anyone been dumped by there ex because they havent got time for a relastionship.

n1amh writes

Be honest and truthful without being hurtful is the best way. Stringing her along aint good and there is no point in prolonging the agony. No point in carrying on if one half of the duo doesn't want to.

wimsicalmelissa writes

right now I'm in a perdicament with my partner of 9 years. I think she has found someone else but won't be honest enough about to tell me. Our phone calls are few and far between and they don't last long. I honestly believe our relationship ended 2 years ago when we moved into separate housing and things have gone down hill from there. She acts as if nothing has changed but I know it has. She moved about 25 miles away from me to be closer to her parents and that is okay with me but if I wasn't going to her I never saw her. It had been almost a month since we saw each other. Then she came to me and it was as if we were friends not lovers. I just don't understand how you can be with someone for so long and want to move on so quick. If in the end it does end I won't be looking for love any time soon. I want to work on my self before I try to work on a relationship. It really hurts me to think that I mean nothing to her. What ticks me off more than anything is she told me yesterday that s

Haboric writes

I foolishly didn't fight enough when my ex ended our relationship. It hurt so much, and I always thought that we would get back together. Now she is with someone else and, 6 months on, I'm still missing her, though she moved on so quickly, I feel maybe she had been seeing this woman all along.

Our relationship ended because of circumtance, not because we didn't love each other. I miss her so much and wish I could change things.

For anyone who knows that what you are doing is wrong and could end a relationship, don't, or if you have to end, do it quickly.

oldnavy writes

I dont know why she ended it. she made only a few comments like its the little things. what little things? and oh you will find someone else. and for weeks prior saying äre you avoiding me....are you pushing me away...agggh I just dont get it. she wants me in her life but I hurt so much

anonymous writes

I recently walked out of a relationship that I can only describe as a Clayton relationship (the one you have when you not having a relationship...)

It became more and more apparent when many of my long term friends, mutual and new friends, kept asking me WHAT was I doing, that deserved better and told me to stop being a door mat...

When the majority of my friends were worried, the warning bell got a lot louder…

Anyway, I have a new concept, d you remember Ellen's big 'Coming Out' on the ELLEN Show where Melissa E gave Ellen an toasted oven?

Well my friends gave me 3 in 1 Micro, Grill & Convention Oven to cheer me up and congratulations for making the move and stop being a doormat!

chiko writes

My ex of nearly 11 years recently dumped me for a woman she'd never met but thought she'd 'like to pursue'. I'd supported her totally through 7 years of study (worked 3 jobs to do so), loved her to bits, & thought she valued what we had... Yes, I know, when it's over it's over, blah, blah, got to be honest, blah, blah, blah... As far as I'm concerned, from my own unique bitter and twisted perspective, my ex's technique in brutality is not the way... Sure, I didn't want it to end, & no way would have been the perfect way, but to just pretend the other person doesn't exist because you no longer care to be with them is the ultimate form of betrayal. I don't believe one has to be 'cruel to be kind' - I've never annihilated another human being in this way, & I don't believe anyone deserves it. Life is not a scene from Fatal Attraction, the former object of our love is not suddenly the enemy, & we owe it to ourselves & those we've once cared for to treat them with some dignity at least

anonymous writes

I had been trying to end a relationship for a few months but she wouldn't let go.

Well, finally today, it's officially over. It has been such a difficult time for us because it's just not in my nature to dump someone I really care for and she's had her heart broken and has let me know about it.

I've let her complain and yell at me because I guess I felt like I owed it to her being the dumper and I really do care about her well-being.

I have felt horrible and guilty but I knew we weren't right for each other. It was a difficult and painful decision to come to. The truth is I love her but can't give her what she really wants (I know that sounds like a typical guy line but it's the truth). She was selling herself short and settling for less by staying with me because of so many situations in my personal and professional life.

Now here's the kicker. Weeks ago, I encouraged her to go out with other people to keep busy, to have new prospects, to make things easier for herself

innerstar writes

from what i've seen, self and others,

honesty ultimately... especially women find it difficult saying 'no', as we get all caught up in trying to preserve the other's feelings.

not being honest almost always ends up being crapper for them, as well as very very crap for you. we often see self-preservation as selfishness (damn upbringing), but i agree with other comments, we really need to just look after ourselves for the duration of that plunge, and if appropriate, to break the truth to them with as much respect as possible, so at least our conscience can be clear. your self-esteem is the most important thing to preserve.

LoversTwist writes

I began to realize she was not well... mentally.
The violent outbursts of anger, the constant criticism of Lesbian/gay 2 spirit community leaders, hatred of my few friends, and her constant greed. It was all about her needs and wants.

It was a fling of 2 months that was so unhealthy for me that she left me no choice.
I told her at dinner. I wished her well and explained we were not communicating well or had enough interests in common to keep this going.
She responded by contacting an old girlfriend of mine and trying to stir up hate for me with her. It backfired... we now talk on phone and last week went to dinner... just us.

I thought she would come to see that it was for the best that we part but instead she has stalked me through countless emails, has went on a childish slander campaign and now dragged my name before the courts in a peace bond. What an insult and a way to keep me in her life.

Thank God there are other's who dated this woman and had similar threatening be

5cougars writes

I agree with ID333

grl_for_me writes

that's a hard one ummmm trust ur instinct i guess

and make sure u do really want to end it b4 u do

anonymous writes

Wish I knew how to get over a broken heart. I was with what I thought was the love of my life for over 8 months, now she tells me to give her time so she can do the things she hasn’t done in a long time.... I have put a wall up so big and don’t know if I can trust anyone ever again...Do I move on? And try to trust again; because deep down I know it's over...Any advice would be great.........

ah ry writes

haven't dated in two years - reading thru this and other pages it could be another two years.. think I'm one of those that gets going when the going gets tough. as much as I promise myself I will "try", when it come down to it life is so much simplier(is there such a word) as one.

LeMonee writes

Have a heart...After a 3 year relationship, supporting the X and her 2 kids...she met a new g/f on line...then gave me 10 days notice, disconected everything, left me in a lot of debt then moved into the same street with the new lover.

shelia writes

with plenty of patience, a swag of frustration and knowing one day that little something you put away when you decided to call it quits is safe from harm and you can seek it when the time is right.
After all you were part of the relationship. There is a something you treasured, the older you get the more value these treasures have.
Apart from that if you are a runner then run, don't hang around teasing everyone else.
If you like to linger, ask if you are doing anyone any favors.
You have made a choice, are wanting a change then do it. Don't however torment your partner just because you are in two minds or feeling a bit unsure. If you do you will never know the value of something you had and had the potential to be a part of in the future.

Do let your partner know how you really feel - without spite, malice or accusation. If you are running then why etc. This may be a side of you your partner was never aware of !

I could go on for days i guess as each of us have our reasons.

winged writes

Well, assuming that YOU'RE sure you want it to end, the best way is to not communicate for like 6 months, sometimes more. Its hard to do, 'cause u miss her and u may want to help eachother thru the break-up, but that only makes it more painful. I'm usually not tough enough to do it the "right way", though, so I've had drama.

terciopelo writes

aaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I've done it to her and now she's done it to me...and I don't know what to do...isn't love worth fighting for??????

Bella-Gypsy! writes

Me Oh My...Tis always soooooo very hard....Esp when you know in your heart it is finished...There is no feeling or respect remaining either on one or both sides. Yet one of you still 'keeps on trying + the don't give up jus becouse of this little rough patch' conversations etc...The reality is..if the feelings are not mutual on BOTH sides...one can not change back the heart of the other that is no longer present - so to speak...No amount of manipulation (urgh - hate that one) / Guilt trips / Threats / Conuselling etc etc etc Is hoing to bring BACK the love and most importantly the RESPECT that has left the situation.
I have been in the situation, where i have been honest..Told the other that i could no longer be present in the r'ship - that the L & R were no longer there for ME...the on slought of Pain from the other is terrible and guit wracking - but to be expected under the circumstances (Still sometimes i question how they could not see it coming anyway..or they did - but didn't w

mojo6 writes

i also hate breaking up

mojo6 writes

usually play up untill they end it. all relationships have to run the course

brownsweet32 writes

I hate break ups!

leftfoot writes

well it depends, sometimes they end relationships but still want all the trimmings.. ie. still want to see you go out with you, cuddle with you,say that they have had the best sex ever but just cant handle the rough times so when they say lets be friends what sort of friends are they after they play push pull games then call all the shots with out the committment. then they say you cant handle it so how do you handle someone like that!!!

muso29 writes

To be honest I feel our community looks at relationships as a temporary state of affairs. As a whole I don't see lesbian friends sticking true to loyalty and commitment - if the going gets tough they tend to get going. I'd rather focus on the commitment that true soul mates are meant to share. Work through the tough times and just enjoy living the most of the time.
Yes - being romantic hurts but it's all worth it in my books!
Tell her to stay and talk things through!!!!

MovesInSilence writes

Honesty is best, but in reality it also hurts like a ..err yeah.
In the past i've found leaving town works, kneeing her ex-boyfriend in the privates after being hit by him has worked (not reccomended), and being honest by convincing her it should be both are in love to make it work not just one.

weeeeee writes

What's In it For Me - WIFM

fisgig writes

Weeeeeee, what IS the WIFM factor?

Fuschia47 writes

As an add-on to my previous statement my methods of breaking up varied as each time I tried she would continue living as if we were together. It was like an alternate reality, where I said "It's over-No more-I can not be a part of this anymore" and she would bring home groceries and make dinner for us while I was packing my things as if everything was normal. Then the whole thing would start all over again. If the other person wants to hold on, and you want to break free, you must think only of yourself until she is ready to handle reality. Catering to her feelings will only confuse her, and lead her to believe that saving the relationship is still possible. Be strong, be honest, and be quick about it.

Fuschia47 writes

As horrible as it sounds, when all else fails, I've been forced to get a no-contact order. I'm sure that's extreme for most cases, but I think that if she comes to understand you will not be happy with her, for what reason would she want you to stay? Obsession and possession, in which case my sympathy for her feelings takes a backdrop to my own needs.

ID333 writes

How does one end a relationship...by being honest. As cruel as it sounds, it is a simple, but difficult path! The road less chosen. It is not about other feelings, it is about ones own feelings and integrity. Follow a woman's intuition.

weeeeee writes

ok, get ready to start tossing stuff at me, but if you communicate your wishes and desires from your point of view only, then she has to want to listen. bring out the WIFM factor, allow her to be in control of her vulnerability, and she may even pack your bags for you.

anonymous writes

oh pinkie at least i know i'm not alone!! why can't she see it from our side? she's been here and we,ve been there so it should be simple but...

Pinkie writes

I wish I knew. I am so stuck.